Building Confidence in Your Abilities

Discover tips, treatment options, and support strategies from the Finding Focus Care Team

Last Update: August 18th, 2025 | Estimated Read Time: 8 min

Understanding ADHD and Confidence in Women

For women living with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), the journey toward self-advocacy and confidence can feel uniquely complex. Many women receive a diagnosis later in life, after years of coping with symptoms that were misinterpreted as personal failings rather than signs of a neurodevelopmental condition. The result? Patterns of self-doubt, internalized stigma, and difficulty recognizing strengths.

Building confidence in your abilities is not simply about “positive thinking.” It is about learning to view ADHD through a lens of self-understanding, building skills to manage challenges, and advocating for yourself in personal, academic, and professional spaces.

According to Gershon and Gershon (2002), women with ADHD report higher rates of internalizing difficulties, including low self-esteem and anxiety, compared to men. This makes it even more vital to develop tools that affirm personal strengths and create space for empowered self-advocacy.

Why Confidence Often Feels Out of Reach

ADHD impacts core executive functions such as planning, organization, and impulse regulation. For women, who often face societal expectations of being “organized, calm, and emotionally balanced,” the mismatch between expectations and lived reality can erode confidence over time.

Women with ADHD may experience:

• Masking behaviours: Hiding symptoms to “fit in,” which can be exhausting and reinforce feelings of inadequacy.
  
  
• Imposter syndrome: Believing that achievements are due to luck rather than ability.
  
  
• Perfectionism: Striving to overcompensate for perceived shortcomings, leading to burnout.
  
  
• Comparisons: Judging oneself against peers or colleagues who seem more “together.”

Research by Quinn and Madhoo (2014) highlights that women with ADHD are more likely than men to experience feelings of shame, low self-worth, and challenges in asserting themselves. These experiences can undermine confidence and make advocacy feel overwhelming.

Step 1: Recognize Strengths and Reframe the Narrative

Confidence begins with recognizing that ADHD is not a personal weakness. It is a different way of processing the world, with both challenges and unique strengths.

Women with ADHD often bring creativity, problem-solving skills, empathy, and high levels of resilience to their work and relationships. However, these qualities may go unnoticed when the focus remains only on difficulties.

Try this: Write down three strengths you notice in yourself each week, whether it’s creativity in problem-solving, persistence in managing a task, or empathy in supporting a friend. Small shifts in perspective can help reframe your personal narrative.

In fact, Ramsay and Rostain (2016) found that cognitive-behavioural approaches aimed at reframing self-perception significantly improve self-confidence and reduce self-stigma in adults with ADHD.

Step 2: Build Self-Advocacy Skills

Self-advocacy is the ability to understand your needs, express them clearly, and seek support without apology. For women with ADHD, developing these skills is essential in education, the workplace, and healthcare.

In Educational Settings

• Request extended time or alternative formats for exams.
  
  
• Ask for access to lecture recordings or note-taking support.
  
  
• Meet with professors or advisors to explain your learning style.

In the Workplace

• Advocate for flexible scheduling or quiet workspaces.
  
  
• Use project management tools to track tasks and deadlines.
  
  
• Communicate openly with supervisors about how you work best.

In Healthcare

• Bring notes to appointments to ensure your concerns are heard.
  
  
• Ask clarifying questions about treatment options.
  
  
• Request written summaries of discussions to help with recall.

By practicing these skills, women can shift from feeling like passive recipients of support to active participants in shaping their environments. Research shows that women who engage in self-advocacy report higher satisfaction in both professional and personal outcomes (Weyandt & DuPaul, 2008).

Step 3: Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Internal dialogue can be one of the most powerful barriers, or tools, for confidence. Women with ADHD often develop patterns of harsh self-criticism, reinforcing the idea that they are “not good enough.”

Replacing negative self-talk with balanced, compassionate language is key. For example:

• Instead of: “I always forget things. I’m unreliable.”
  
  
• Try: “I sometimes forget things, but I’m building systems to help me stay on track.”

Cognitive-behavioural strategies encourage identifying thought distortions, like catastrophizing or black-and-white thinking, and replacing them with realistic perspectives. Over time, this helps reduce anxiety and build self-confidence.

Step 4: Develop Supportive Structures

Confidence grows when women have systems that support success. These structures reduce daily stress and allow strengths to shine.

• Organizational tools: Digital planners, reminders, and habit-tracking apps.
  
  
• External accountability: Study groups, work buddies, or ADHD coaches.
  
  
• Healthy routines: Consistent sleep, balanced meals, and physical activity.

By externalizing executive functions through supports, women can free up mental energy for creativity and problem-solving. Support structures are not “crutches.” They are tools that allow individuals to thrive.

Step 5: Surround Yourself with Encouragement

Confidence is nurtured in community. Women with ADHD benefit from connecting with peers who share similar experiences and challenges. Whether through online support groups, local ADHD networks, or professional coaching, hearing “me too” can replace isolation with belonging.

Mentorship is also powerful. Finding role models, especially women with ADHD who have achieved personal or professional success, can help reinforce the belief that success is possible.

Step 6: Embrace Self-Compassion

At the heart of building confidence lies self-compassion. This means treating yourself with the same kindness you would extend to a friend.

Self-compassion involves three parts:

1. Self-kindness: Responding to mistakes with understanding rather than criticism.
   
   
2. Common humanity: Recognizing that struggles are part of the human experience.
   
   
3. Mindfulness: Observing thoughts and emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them.

Women with ADHD who practice self-compassion show higher resilience and improved well-being. Confidence does not mean never struggling; it means acknowledging struggles without letting them define your worth.

When to Seek Extra Support

Confidence-building is not always a solo journey. If feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, or depression persist, seeking professional support is a strong step of advocacy in itself.

Therapies that may help include:

• Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT): Focuses on challenging negative thought patterns and developing coping skills.
  
  
• ADHD Coaching: Provides practical strategies and accountability.
  
  
• Medication management: In some cases, medication supports focus and reduces overwhelm, making confidence-building easier.

Final Thoughts: Confidence as a Practice

For women with ADHD, confidence is not a fixed trait. It is a practice built over time through small, intentional actions. By recognizing strengths, advocating for needs, challenging negative self-talk, and surrounding yourself with encouragement, confidence becomes less about proving worth and more about embracing it.

Every step, whether speaking up in a meeting, asking for accommodations, or reframing a harsh thought, is an act of self-advocacy. Over time, these steps accumulate into a more confident, empowered version of yourself.

You are not defined by ADHD alone. You are defined by how you choose to understand, accept, and advocate for the full range of your abilities.

Finding Focus Care Team

We are a group of nurse practitioners, continuous care specialists, creators, and writers, all committed to excellence in patient care and expertise in ADHD. We share content that illuminates aspects of ADHD and broader health care topics. Each article is medically verified and approved by the Finding Focus Care Team. You can contact us at Finding Focus Support if you have any questions!  

References

Gershon, J., & Gershon, J. (2002). A meta-analytic review of gender differences in ADHD. Journal of Attention Disorders, 5(3), 143–154. Link

Quinn, P. O., & Madhoo, M. (2014). A review of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder in women and girls: Uncovering this hidden diagnosis. Primary Care Companion for CNS Disorders, 16(3), PCC.13r01596. Link

Ramsay, J. R., & Rostain, A. L. (2016). Cognitive behavioural therapy for adult ADHD: An integrative psychosocial and medical approach. Routledge. Link

Weyandt, L. L., & DuPaul, G. J. (2008). ADHD in college students: Developmental findings. Developmental Disabilities Research Reviews, 14(4), 311–319. Link