Navigating Friendships and Relationships with ADHD in College and University

Discover tips, treatment options, and support strategies from the Finding Focus Care Team

Last Update: March 11th, 2025 | Estimated Read Time: 5 min

Understanding the Social Challenges of ADHD in Higher Education

Attending college or university is a major transition for students with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). While academic demands increase, so do the challenges in social settings. Friendships and relationships require communication, emotional regulation, and consistency, areas where individuals with ADHD often struggle. These difficulties can lead to feelings of isolation, misunderstandings, and even social rejection.

ADHD symptoms such as impulsivity, inattentiveness, and hyperactivity can affect interpersonal relationships in several ways:

• Impulsivity in Conversations: Blurting out thoughts without considering timing or appropriateness can be off-putting to peers.
• Inattention to Social Cues: Difficulty reading body language or tone can result in misunderstandings.
• Hyperactivity: Fidgeting, restlessness, or excessive talking can sometimes be overwhelming for others.

According to research, individuals with ADHD tend to have fewer close friendships and are more likely to experience peer rejection than their neurotypical counterparts (Hoza et al., 2005). However, with awareness and strategic efforts, students with ADHD can build and maintain fulfilling friendships and romantic relationships.

Strategies for Building and Maintaining Friendships

1. Develop Self-Awareness

The first step in improving social interactions is understanding how ADHD impacts relationships. Self-awareness allows individuals to recognize patterns in their social behaviour, making it easier to address potential issues.

Tips:

• Keep a social journal to reflect on interactions, noting what went well and what could be improved.
• Ask trusted friends for feedback on social habits and communication styles.
• Recognize triggers that may cause impulsivity or inattentiveness.

A study by Barkley et al. (2008) emphasizes that self-monitoring can significantly improve the social experiences of individuals with ADHD by increasing awareness of problematic behaviours and encouraging corrective action.

2. Enhance Social Skills Through Practice

Social skills training has been found to be highly effective for individuals with ADHD (Mikami et al., 2013). Universities often offer workshops and counseling services that focus on social skills development.

Key Skills to Practice:

• Active Listening: Maintain eye contact, nod, and paraphrase what the other person is saying to show engagement.
• Turn-Taking in Conversations: Pause before responding to ensure the other person has finished speaking.
• Understanding Nonverbal Cues: Learn to read body language and facial expressions to gauge emotions.

3. Manage Impulsivity in Social Interactions

Impulsivity can lead to interrupting conversations, making inappropriate jokes, or dominating discussions. Learning to pause and reflect before speaking can help improve social interactions.

Strategies:

• Practice mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing before responding in conversations.
• Use visual or auditory cues (e.g., counting to three before speaking) to slow down reactions.
• Engage in cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), which has been proven to help individuals with ADHD regulate impulsive behaviours (Safren et al., 2005).

4. Seek Out Supportive Environments

Surrounding oneself with understanding and patient individuals can make a world of difference. Joining clubs, interest-based organizations, or ADHD support groups can help students find like-minded peers who appreciate their strengths.

Ways to Find Supportive Friends:

• Attend social events hosted by student organizations.
• Join online ADHD communities to connect with peers who share similar experiences.
• Form study groups where structured social interactions occur in a supportive setting.

Navigating Romantic Relationships with ADHD

While friendships can be challenging, romantic relationships often present additional complexities. Individuals with ADHD may struggle with emotional regulation, forgetfulness, and impulsivity, which can affect their relationships.

1. Communicate Openly About ADHD

Being upfront about ADHD with a romantic partner can lead to better understanding and reduced frustration.

Tips:

• Explain how ADHD affects daily interactions and emotions.
• Provide resources or suggest attending an ADHD seminar together to build awareness.
• Discuss how your partner can support you in moments of hyperfocus or inattentiveness.

ADHD in romantic relationships can lead to misunderstandings, but couples who communicate openly about the condition typically report higher relationship satisfaction.

2. Create Relationship Routines

Routine can help manage ADHD-related forgetfulness and inconsistency in relationships.

Suggestions:

• Set reminders for important dates (e.g., anniversaries, planned outings).
• Establish regular check-ins to discuss relationship needs and concerns.
• Use a shared calendar to coordinate schedules and responsibilities.

3. Develop Emotional Regulation Strategies

Individuals with ADHD may experience intense emotions, which can lead to conflicts. Learning to manage emotional responses can help maintain healthy relationships.

Techniques:

• Practice “time-outs” during heated discussions to prevent emotional outbursts.
• Engage in therapy or counseling to develop coping mechanisms for emotional dysregulation.
• Use self-soothing techniques such as deep breathing or journaling.

Overcoming Common Social Challenges

Fear of Rejection

Many individuals with ADHD fear social rejection due to past negative experiences. However, developing resilience and a growth mindset can help overcome this fear.

Tips:

• Understand that rejection happens to everyone, and it does not define self-worth.
• Focus on quality over quantity in friendships, having a few close friends is more valuable than having many acquaintances.
• Seek therapy or counseling for support in overcoming social anxiety.

Forgetfulness in Friendships and Relationships

ADHD-related forgetfulness can strain friendships and romantic relationships, especially if a partner or friend feels neglected.

Solutions:

• Use reminder apps to keep track of birthdays, plans, and commitments.
• Set recurring notifications for checking in with friends and loved ones.
• Apologize and take responsibility when forgetfulness impacts relationships.

Maintaining Long-Term Friendships

Sustaining long-term friendships requires effort and intentionality. Individuals with ADHD may struggle with consistency, but there are ways to maintain connections over time.

Suggestions:

• Schedule regular catch-ups (weekly or monthly) to maintain closeness.
• Express appreciation often, small gestures like sending a quick message can strengthen bonds.
• Be honest about struggles with ADHD and ask for patience and understanding when needed.

Conclusion

Navigating friendships and romantic relationships in college and university as a student with ADHD can be challenging, but it is entirely possible with self-awareness, social skills development, and structured strategies. By understanding how ADHD affects interactions, seeking supportive environments, and implementing practical techniques for managing impulsivity and forgetfulness, students can build and maintain meaningful relationships.

College is a time of growth, learning, and self-discovery, and having a strong social network can make the experience even more rewarding. With patience, effort, and the right support systems in place, students with ADHD can develop fulfilling and lasting connections that enhance their personal and academic lives.

Finding Focus Care Team

We are a group of nurse practitioners, continuous care specialists, creators, and writers, all committed to excellence in patient care and expertise in ADHD. We share content that illuminates aspects of ADHD and broader health care topics. Each article is medically verified and approved by the Finding Focus Care Team. You can contact us at Finding Focus Support if you have any questions!

References

Barkley, R. A., Murphy, K. R., & Fischer, M. (2008). ADHD in adults: What the science says. Guilford Press. Link  

Hoza, B., Mrug, S., Gerdes, A. C., Hinshaw, S. P., Bukowski, W. M., & Kraemer, H. C. (2005). Peer-assessed outcomes in the multimodal treatment study of children with ADHD. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 73(3), 411–423. Link

Mikami, A. Y., et al. (2013). Social skills training for children with ADHD: A randomized controlled trial. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 16(2), 107-124. Link  

Safren, S. A., Sprich, S., Chulvick, S., Otto, M. W., & Brezing, C. (2005). Psychosocial treatments for adults with ADHD. Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 28(2), 301-312. Link