Building Trust with Family

Discover tips, treatment options, and support strategies from the Finding Focus Care Team

Last Update: August 18th, 2025 | Estimated Read Time: 8 min

Understanding Trust in Families Living with ADHD

Trust is the foundation of every healthy relationship. For families raising teens with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), building and maintaining that trust can be both rewarding and challenging. ADHD affects attention, impulse control, and emotional regulation, all of which influence how teens connect with their parents, siblings, and caregivers.

When trust feels strained, whether from misunderstandings, forgotten commitments, or emotional outbursts, family members may feel distant from one another. But trust can be rebuilt. By focusing on communication, empathy, and consistency, families can create an environment where everyone feels safe, respected, and supported.

Research highlights that strong family relationships act as protective factors for teens with ADHD, reducing risks of depression, anxiety, and school disengagement (Sibley et al., 2014). Trust, therefore, is not just “nice-to-have”, but an essential part of supporting both the teen and the family as a whole.

Why Trust Can Be Difficult to Maintain

ADHD symptoms influence everyday family life. Teens may want to be reliable but find themselves:

• Forgetting chores or homework despite their best intentions.
  
  
• Reacting impulsively during conflicts with parents or siblings.
  
  
• Struggling to manage time, leading to repeated lateness or missed commitments.
  
  
• Withdrawing emotionally when they feel misunderstood or criticized.
  
  

Parents, in turn, may experience frustration, interpreting these behaviours as intentional rather than ADHD-related. This cycle can lead to resentment on both sides. According to Johnston and Mash (2001), parent-child relationships in ADHD contexts often involve higher levels of negativity and conflict compared to families without ADHD, making intentional trust-building even more important.

The Role of Emotional Safety

Trust is not just about promises kept; it is about emotional safety. Teens need to believe that they can express themselves honestly without fear of judgement or punishment. Emotional safety also means parents trust their teens enough to allow independence while still providing guidance.

For families managing ADHD, emotional safety can feel fragile. Outbursts, criticism, or miscommunication may make both parents and teens hesitant to be vulnerable. However, studies show that when caregivers adopt a supportive, validating style, acknowledging struggles while reinforcing strengths, trust and cooperation increase significantly (Mikami et al., 2010).

Practical Strategies for Building Trust

Trust is built in small, everyday moments. Here are several strategies that families can use to strengthen connections and create a sense of reliability and safety.

1. Practice Open and Honest Communication

Teens with ADHD may already feel self-conscious about their struggles. When family members communicate with clarity and compassion, it reduces shame and fosters openness.

Try this: Instead of saying, “You never listen,” try, “I noticed it’s hard for you to follow instructions when there’s a lot going on, how can we make this easier together?”

2. Repair After Conflict

Every family argues. What matters is how conflicts are resolved. Apologies, acknowledgment of emotions, and efforts to move forward signal that mistakes do not permanently damage the relationship.

Example: After an outburst, a teen might say, “I didn’t mean to yell. I was frustrated.” Parents can model this too: “I shouldn’t have raised my voice. Let’s try again.”

According to Evans et al. (2014), consistent repair efforts reduce long-term resentment and strengthen resilience in parent-teen relationships.

3. Create Predictable Routines

Consistency builds reliability, which in turn builds trust. Teens with ADHD thrive when routines are structured but flexible enough to accommodate setbacks.

Strategy: Post a shared family calendar in a central spot. This helps everyone know what is expected and prevents misunderstandings about forgotten responsibilities.

4. Balance Independence and Support

Teens crave autonomy, but ADHD may make parents hesitant to “let go.” Finding a balance, allowing independence while keeping communication open, strengthens mutual trust.

Try collaborative decision-making: Involve your teen in creating house rules or negotiating curfews. When they feel respected, they are more likely to reciprocate trust.

5. Highlight Strengths and Efforts

Trust grows when family members see and acknowledge one another’s strengths. For teens with ADHD, constant reminders of what went wrong can overshadow their successes.

Parents can say: “I appreciate that you came home on time even though you were distracted earlier.” This builds a positive feedback loop, encouraging teens to keep trying.

What Parents and Caregivers Can Do

Supporting a teen with ADHD requires patience and perspective. Families can strengthen trust by focusing on the following caregiver practices:

• Stay calm during challenges. Teens mirror parental responses; calmness signals safety.
  
  
• Validate feelings before correcting. “I understand you’re upset. Let’s talk about what happened after we cool down.”
  
  
• Use collaborative problem-solving. Instead of dictating, involve your teen in finding workable solutions.
  
  
• Celebrate progress. Trust grows when families notice effort, not just outcomes.
  
  

Parents who use these techniques model empathy and reliability, laying a foundation for their teen to do the same.

What Teens Can Do

Teens, too, play an active role in building trust. Some small but powerful steps include:

• Communicating openly. Sharing feelings of stress or overwhelm rather than withdrawing.
  
  
• Following through on commitments where possible. Even small steps like remembering to text when running late can rebuild trust.
  
  
• Acknowledging mistakes. Owning up without defensiveness shows maturity and fosters forgiveness.
  
  
• Recognizing parental efforts. Trust is reciprocal; expressing gratitude helps parents feel valued too.
  
  

Sibling Relationships and Trust

Siblings often feel the ripple effects of ADHD. They may perceive favouritism, frustration, or lack of fairness in how rules are applied. Building trust among siblings requires intentional effort.

• Parents should acknowledge the unique challenges ADHD brings without excusing hurtful behaviour.
  
  
• Siblings should be encouraged to express their feelings openly in safe family discussions.
  
  
• Celebrating shared experiences such as game nights, outdoor activities, or projects helps strengthen bonds beyond conflict.
  
  

Research by Mikami and Pfiffner (2008) suggests that positive sibling relationships can buffer against social difficulties at school, making trust at home especially valuable.

When to Seek Extra Support

Sometimes, trust within the family feels difficult to rebuild without outside help. Families may benefit from professional support if they notice:

• Persistent hostility between parents and teens.
  
  
• A teen withdrawing completely from family interactions.
  
  
• Ongoing conflicts among siblings leading to resentment.
  
  
• Parents feeling burned out and hopeless about improving the relationship.
  
  

Therapies such as family-based cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) and parent management training have been shown to reduce conflict and increase positive family interactions for ADHD populations (Chronis-Tuscano et al., 2013).

Final Thoughts: Small Steps, Lasting Trust

Building trust in families navigating ADHD is a journey, not a destination. It requires patience, humility, and persistence from every family member. Trust is not built on perfection; it is built on showing up consistently, repairing after mistakes, and celebrating progress.

For teens, feeling trusted and supported can improve self-esteem, reduce conflict, and strengthen resilience. For parents and siblings, trust creates a sense of unity and calm in the midst of everyday challenges.

Even small changes like communicating more openly, apologizing after conflict, and celebrating strengths can transform family relationships. Trust grows step by step, and each positive interaction adds another layer to a foundation that will support your teen well into adulthood.

Finding Focus Care Team

We are a group of nurse practitioners, continuous care specialists, creators, and writers, all committed to excellence in patient care and expertise in ADHD. We share content that illuminates aspects of ADHD and broader health care topics. Each article is medically verified and approved by the Finding Focus Care Team. You can contact us at Finding Focus Support if you have any questions!

References

Chronis-Tuscano, A., Clarke, T. L., O’Brien, K. A., Raggi, V. L., Diaz, Y., Mintz, A. D., ... & Seymour, K. E. (2013). Development and preliminary evaluation of an integrated treatment for young children with ADHD and their parents: The Child Life and Attention Skills (CLAS) program. Cognitive and Behavioural Practice, 20(1), 33–46. Link

Evans, S. W., Owens, J. S., Wymbs, B. T., & Ray, A. R. (2014). Evidence-based psychosocial treatments for children and adolescents with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology, 43(4), 527–551. Link

Johnston, C., & Mash, E. J. (2001). Families of children with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: Review and recommendations for future research. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 4(3), 183–207. Link

Mikami, A. Y., Lerner, M. D., & Lun, J. (2010). Social context influences on children’s rejection of peers with ADHD. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 38(6), 755–765. Link