How to Manage Social Rejection and Bullying

Discover tips, treatment options, and support strategies from the Finding Focus Care Team

Last Update: July 14th, 2025 | Estimated Read Time: 8 min  

Understanding the Social Vulnerabilities of Children with ADHD

Social experiences during childhood play a significant role in emotional development and well-being. However, children with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) often face unique and painful challenges in their peer relationships. Between difficulties in emotional regulation, impulsivity, and misreading social cues, many kids with ADHD are at a higher risk of social rejection and bullying.

Research shows that up to 50–60% of children with ADHD experience peer rejection, and they are significantly more likely to be victims of bullying compared to their neurotypical peers (Hoza, 2007). These experiences can deeply affect a child’s self-esteem, school engagement, and mental health, sometimes contributing to anxiety, depression, or even oppositional behaviours.

Helping children and families navigate this landscape requires a deeper understanding of the why, and the how, to build healthier, safer social experiences.

Why Social Rejection Happens More Often with ADHD

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects attention, impulsivity, and self-regulation. But its effects go beyond focus or fidgeting. Children with ADHD may:

• Interrupt or talk over others in conversation
  
  
• React impulsively during conflict or play
  
  
• Misinterpret non-verbal social cues like tone or facial expression
  
  
• Struggle to take turns, follow game rules, or wait in line
  
  
• Have difficulty regulating their emotions, especially frustration or excitement

While these behaviours are often unintentional and neurologically driven, they can be misinterpreted by peers as rudeness, selfishness, or aggression. Over time, this misunderstanding can lead to exclusion from play, teasing, or outright bullying.

In fact, Marton et al. (2009) found that the social competence of children with ADHD is often undermined by poor emotional control, even more than by hyperactive or inattentive symptoms. Peers may begin to avoid or target these children, not because of who they are, but because of how they behave in the moment.

Recognizing the Signs: Is Your Child Being Bullied or Rejected?

Not every child will speak up about bullying or social issues. That’s why it’s important for caregivers to watch for warning signs:

• Sudden reluctance to attend school or social events
  
  
• Frequent somatic complaints like headaches or stomach aches
  
  
• Changes in sleep, appetite, or mood
  
  
• Crying after school or signs of emotional exhaustion
  
  
• Withdrawing from favourite activities or avoiding peer interaction
  
  
• Unexplained bruises, missing belongings, or broken personal items

Children with ADHD may also struggle to verbalize their experiences. They might blame themselves, feel shame, or struggle to fully understand the social dynamics at play.

Building Social Resilience: What Families Can Do

While we can’t prevent every instance of bullying or rejection, we can equip children with the tools and support they need to navigate their social world more safely and confidently. Here’s how families can help:

1. Open the Door for Honest Conversation

Create a safe, non-judgmental space for your child to share their day. Avoid leading with questions like, “Were you good today?” Instead, try:

“What was one fun thing and one tricky thing about today?”

When kids feel they won’t be punished or criticized, they’re more likely to open up. If bullying or exclusion comes up, respond with calm, validating language:

“That sounds really hard. I’m glad you told me. You don’t deserve to be treated that way.”

2. Teach and Practice Social Scripts

Children with ADHD often benefit from structured, repeatable language for social interactions. Practice social scripts like:

• “Can I play with you?”
  
  
• “I don’t like that. Please stop.”
  
  
• “Let’s take turns.”

Role-playing these scripts at home, especially with siblings or caregivers, can increase confidence and reduce anxiety during real-world interactions.

According to Mikami et al. (2010), parent-led social coaching improves peer acceptance and reduces social friction for children with ADHD, especially when reinforced through modelling and feedback.

3. Help Label and Manage Emotions

Kids who can name their feelings are more likely to manage them constructively. Help your child understand emotional states with tools like:

• Emotion charts or “feelings thermometers”
  
  
• Books and stories that explore friendship and conflict
  
  
• Calm-down kits (fidget tools, drawing pads, soft toys)

As they develop this awareness, you can teach coping skills like deep breathing, asking for help, or taking a short break. Emotional regulation plays a pivotal role in social success.

Navigating Bullying at School: Steps for Parents

Bullying is never the child’s fault, and it requires a structured response. If bullying is suspected or reported, take action:

Step 1: Document Everything

Keep a detailed record of:

• Dates, times, and nature of incidents
  
  
• Names of children involved
  
  
• Your child’s reports and any physical evidence

This documentation supports communication with the school and ensures a clear picture of ongoing issues.

Step 2: Contact the School Early

Reach out to your child’s teacher or principal with your concerns. Use calm, solution-focused language:

“We’ve noticed some troubling changes and wanted to understand what might be happening socially at school.”

Ask about:

• Supervision during recess or transitions
  
  
• Seating arrangements or group dynamics
  
  
• Anti-bullying policies and classroom strategies

Schools in Canada are mandated to address bullying through prevention and intervention, especially under provincial education acts.

Step 3: Request Additional Support

Children with ADHD may qualify for Individual Education Plans (IEPs) or informal accommodations that include social goals. These can involve:

• Social skills groups
  
  
• Break spaces or calm-down passes
  
  
• Peer buddy systems or structured playtime activities

Working with school psychologists or social workers can also be valuable, especially when bullying escalates or overlaps with learning difficulties.

When to Involve a Mental Health Professional

Persistent social struggles and bullying can take a toll on a child’s emotional health. Watch for signs of:

• Anxiety or panic attacks
  
  
• Low self-esteem or negative self-talk
  
  
• Frequent meltdowns or aggressive outbursts
  
  
• Refusal to attend school or events

Engaging a paediatric psychologist, ADHD specialist, or counsellor can provide targeted support. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), in particular, is shown to help children with ADHD build self-confidence and emotional coping skills (Antshel & Barkley, 2008).

Support groups for parents and kids may also reduce feelings of isolation and offer community-based tools for resilience.

Strengthening Peer Relationships Proactively

While addressing bullying is critical, helping your child develop positive friendships is equally important. Here are a few tips:

• Start Small and Structured

Short playdates with one or two peers in familiar settings work best. Choose calm, low-stimulation environments and offer shared activities like board games, Lego building, or baking.

• Foster Shared Interests

Kids are more likely to connect when they bond over mutual interests, art, sports, animals, or video games. Enrolling in clubs, lessons, or camps tailored to their passions can expand their social circle.

• Praise Social Wins

Celebrate moments of kindness, sharing, or courage. Reinforcement builds motivation and confidence:

“I saw how you waited your turn and let your friend choose first. That was generous and respectful.”

Final Thoughts: Empathy and Empowerment

Social rejection and bullying can feel overwhelming, for children and their caregivers alike. But every child with ADHD deserves friendship, safety, and belonging.

By building social-emotional awareness, advocating within school systems, and reinforcing healthy peer skills, families can help children navigate these challenges with strength and support.

And perhaps most importantly: remind your child that who they are is more than their diagnosis, and that they are not alone.

Finding Focus Care Team

We are a group of nurse practitioners, continuous care specialists, creators, and writers, all committed to excellence in patient care and expertise in ADHD. We share content that illuminates aspects of ADHD and broader health care topics. Each article is medically verified and approved by the Finding Focus Care Team. You can contact us at Finding Focus Support if you have any questions!

References

Antshel, K. M., & Barkley, R. A. (2008). Psychosocial interventions in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 17(2), 421–437. Link  

Hoza, B. (2007). Peer functioning in children with ADHD. Journal of Pediatric Psychology, 32(6), 655–663. Link

Marton, I., Wiener, J., Rogers, M., Moore, C., & Tannock, R. (2009). Empathy and social perspective taking in children with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 37(1), 107–118. Link

Mikami, A. Y., Lerner, M. D., Griggs, M. S., McGrath, A., & Calhoun, C. D. (2010). Parental influence on children with ADHD: Role of parental social coaching. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 38(6), 721–736. Link