Making and Keeping Friends

Discover tips, treatment options, and support strategies from the Finding Focus Care Team

Last Update: March 23rd, 2025 | Estimated Read Time: 6 min

Understanding ADHD and Social Struggles

For many teens with ADHD, making and keeping friends can feel like a constant uphill battle. ADHD, characterized by inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity, affects how teens interpret social cues, manage emotions, and engage in conversations. These differences can sometimes make peer relationships harder to initiate and sustain.

Research shows that teens with ADHD are at greater risk for peer rejection and social isolation, which can contribute to lower self-esteem and increased anxiety in adolescence and beyond (Hoza, 2007). But with the right strategies and support, teens can learn to build meaningful and lasting friendships, on their terms.

Why Friendship Can Feel Harder with ADHD

Social interactions are full of nuance, tone of voice, facial expressions, timing. For teens with ADHD, missing subtle cues or interrupting unintentionally can lead to misunderstandings. Impulsivity may cause someone to blurt out something inappropriate, while inattention might result in appearing uninterested or distracted.

It’s not about a lack of interest in others, far from it. Many teens with ADHD are deeply empathetic and eager to connect. But difficulties with emotional regulation and social timing can create frustrating barriers.

These challenges can lead to a cycle of social rejection: one awkward interaction leads to self-doubt, which leads to avoidance, which leads to loneliness. Recognizing and breaking this cycle is an important first step.

Making Friends: Start Small, Start Real

Making friends doesn’t require being the most outgoing person in the room. It starts with shared interests and simple steps.

1. Find Your People Through Activities

The easiest way to connect with others is through shared environments, clubs, hobbies, or volunteer work. Being around people who like the same things makes conversation easier and more natural.

• Join a gaming group, theater club, or music circle.
• Volunteer for events where collaboration is part of the task.
• Attend peer support groups designed for ADHD or neurodiverse teens.

These spaces are often more accepting and structured, offering the social “training wheels” needed to build confidence.

2. Shift the Focus

Instead of worrying about “being liked,” focus on being curious. Ask people questions about themselves, listen actively, and show genuine interest. Being a good friend often starts with being a good listener.

Keeping Friends: Skills That Can Be Learned

Friendship is more than getting along, it’s about consistency, empathy, and trust. For teens with ADHD, some of these skills may need to be practiced more intentionally.

1. Active Listening and Conversation Balance

One of the biggest complaints peers have about friendships with someone who has ADHD is frequent interruptions. Try using a simple technique:

• Wait 3 seconds after someone finishes speaking before replying.
• If you’re afraid of forgetting what you want to say, jot it down briefly.

This strategy supports better turn-taking and shows respect for the other person’s voice.

2. Apologize and Repair When Needed

Nobody’s perfect. If you say something impulsively or forget a friend’s birthday, a sincere and timely apology goes a long way.

Try:

• “I’m sorry I talked over you earlier, I got excited, but I want to hear what you were saying.”
• “I know I missed our plans. It wasn’t intentional, and I’ll make it up to you.”

These small moments of accountability help build trust.

3. Develop Emotional Regulation Skills

ADHD and emotional dysregulation often go hand-in-hand. Quick mood shifts, overreactions, or shutting down during conflict can strain friendships.

Therapies like CBT (Cognitive behavioural Therapy) are highly effective for teens with ADHD, improving not only focus but also emotional control and relationship skills (Sprich et al., 2016).

Even small habits, like taking a 5-second pause before reacting or practicing calming techniques, can reduce drama and strengthen friendships.

Online Friendships: A Double-Edged Sword

Digital platforms can feel safer and easier for some teens with ADHD. Texting and gaming chats offer more time to think and respond. However, too much screen time can lead to avoidance of real-world social skills.

Encourage a balance:

• Use online platforms to build confidence and practice conversation.
• Transition those friendships into real-life meetups when possible.
• Monitor how online spaces affect mood, do they leave you feeling more connected or more anxious?

When to Seek Support

If your teen is feeling persistently left out, anxious, or discouraged, professional support can make a big difference.

Social skills groups, led by therapists or coaches, create a safe space to learn, practice, and receive feedback on communication and relationship-building. Research shows that structured, peer-based training can improve social outcomes and reduce feelings of loneliness (Frankel & Myatt, 2010).

Support isn’t a sign of failure, it’s a sign of strength. Just like learning math or driving, social skills can be taught and improved.

Final Thoughts: Connection Takes Practice, Not Perfection

Friendships aren’t built overnight, and they don’t require you to be anyone other than yourself. If you or your teen are navigating ADHD-related social challenges, know that there are strategies, support systems, and people out there who get it.

Every effort to reach out, stay connected, or repair a relationship is a step toward stronger bonds. And every moment of self-awareness or emotional growth is worth celebrating.

Because friendship, like focus, is something you can build.

Finding Focus Care Team

We are a group of nurse practitioners, continuous care specialists, creators, and writers, all committed to excellence in patient care and expertise in ADHD. We share content that illuminates aspects of ADHD and broader health care topics. Each article is medically verified and approved by the Finding Focus Care Team. You can contact us at Finding Focus Support if you have any questions!  

References

Hoza, B. (2007). Peer functioning in children with ADHD. Journal of Pediatric Psychology, 32(6), 655–663. Link  

Sprich, S., Burbridge, J., Bozzella, B., & Safren, S. A. (2016). Cognitive behavioural therapy for ADHD in adolescents: Clinical considerations and a case series. Cognitive and behavioural Practice, 23(3), 340–355. Link

Frankel, F., & Myatt, R. (2010). Parent-assisted friendship training for children with ADHD. Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology, 39(5), 726–740. Link